Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
