she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
