We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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