Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
