You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
