Can i not drive my cunt home
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
