the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
