My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
