Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
