i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Randomize
