so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
