Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
