I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
