there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
