I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
