i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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