Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
