why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
