You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
