im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
