Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
