Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
