this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
