Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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