it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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