Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
