Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
