Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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