The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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