I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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