ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
