i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
