My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
