You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
from now on my penis is your penis
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Randomize
