There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
