I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
