its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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