I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
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