im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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