i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
