Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize