addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
