i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
