i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
