did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
