I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
do herpes really smell.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
