i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
should my penis look like a turkey
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
