I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
