how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
