Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
