Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
