I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
