I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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