Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
